Stephanie McMahon returns!
Alexa Bliss is suddenly an expert on the decline
of the Roman Empire.
No, not that one.
And Bobby Lashley beats up three men dressed
as his sisters.
I’m Oli Davis, click the ‘i’ above my
head to vote for what you thought of the show
– where you can choose from In Awe, Cor, AVRAWGE,
Poor and Bore – as I review the 21st May,
2018 edition of Monday Night Raw …in about
Kurt Angle barely got through three floppy
wrist gestures to open Raw when Stephanie
McMahon’s entrance music hit.
Not now, Luke!
You’re meant to be on holiday.
Stephanie immediately hit her Emasculator
finishing move on Angle and effectively took
over the show.
Cue Roman Reigns moaning about not having
the Universal Championshi-EMASCULATOR FROM
STEPHANIE ON REIGNS!
And then Kevin Owens came out to praise the
Authority for looking past his feud with Vince
McMahon last year to bring him to Ra- EMASCULATOR
FROM STEPHANIE ON OWENS!
Roman Reigns beat Kevin Owens (DQ)
This turned into a very good Kevin Owens / Roman
Reigns match, until Jinder Mahal attacked
the Big Dawg on the outside.
One Seth Rollins save later and we’ve got
a tag team match, playas.
Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns beat Kevin Owens
& Jinder Mahal
Which was even better than the preceding singles
bout, mainly because of Seth’s incredible
hot body, I mean tag – eventually pinning
Owens with a Curbstomp for the second time
in two weeks.
In an impressive bit of misdirection, the
just-beaten Mahal managed to get behind the
TitanTron to attack a celebrating Roman and
Rollins with a steel chair.
And then it was made official: Reigns vs Jinder
has been announced for Money in the Bank,
probably one of the most unappealing feuds
in modern time-
Hold my beer, says WWE.
The Truth Behind Bobby Lashley’s Sisters
Because then we had 2018’s winner of WWE’s
Worst Segment of the Year award.
Hot off the already awful Bobby Lashley interview
segment from two weeks ago, where he spoke
about loving his three sisters – EMASCULATOR
FROM OUT OF NOWHERE! – which they played again
here just in case you forgot how terrible
it was, Sami Zayn led a segment exposing the
truth behind Bobby’s supposed good family
This came in the form of three men in drag
revealing Lashley actually bullied them all
It wasn’t just the live crowd who were audibly
not into this, not just myself watching through
seething rage at home; but Sami Zayn himself.
That is the face of a man who knows how bad
Somehow even more insulting was how Bobby
no-sold it all as a joke, going on his own
hilarious monologue about three men pretending
to be his sisters, rather than just destroying
everyone like this segment deserved.
Things got physical with Sami running away
and the three ‘sisters’ attacking Bobby,
where Lashley proceeded to beat each one up
– including one with an army helmet, which
Bobby put on the guy’s head, to then punch
him on the helmet on his head.
It’s a protective helmet you f*-.This was
atrocious, and set both Bobby’s WWE character
and the mustachioed women back about a decade.
Ember Moon beat Alexa Bliss
For more character inconsistency, Alexa Bliss
then cut a wholly contrived promo about Visigoths
Ember Moon won their following match despite
some attempted Mickie James interference.
Baron Corbin beat No Way Jose
Baron Corbin and No Way Jose fighting each
other week after week is almost like a metaphysical
conga line joke on me.
The B Team beat Breezeango
The B Team celebrated big time as their undefeated
streak continued against Breezeango… again.
Ronda Rousey & Nia Jax Contract Signing
Stephanie played Ronda Rousey and Nia Jax
against each other for their Money in the
Bank contract signing, possibly forshadowing
Nia turning heel with McMahon.
Dolph Ziggler beat Chad Gable
Despite Dolph Ziggler and Chad Gable getting
jobber entrances, they put on an interesting,
amateur wrestling-influenced match for the
time they were given.
Natalya beat Dana Brooke, Sarah Logan & Liv
Natalya became the latest lady person to qualify
for Money in the Bank, where her post-match
interview was more focused on putting over
They’re best friends!
That always works out…
Elias beat Bobby Roode
This is the fourth time we’ve had Elias
vs Bobby Roode in just over a month.
The Drifter ineffectively won here despite
Bobby being the one going to Money in the
Bank, a bad piece of booking that was completely
saved by Braun Strowman running over Elias
on the entrance ramp to start the next match.
Braun Strowman beat Finn Balor
In a main event made by Stephanie earlier
on – which involved an apple getting a hand
– Braun took on Finn Balor in one of Strowman’s
best ever matches.
Braun worked over Balor for the majority,
but the drama really kicked in when Finn started
to get the better of him – countering Strowman’s
running charge into a Slingblade and hitting
a Coup De Grace on the outside.
We even got the terrific visual of Braun rising
from the dead behind an oblivious Finn.
Strowman won in the end, but showed Finn respect
by putting him in the corner instead of delivering
A good close to an otherwise bad show.
Although I enjoyed the opening, everything
in between was either lazily repeating matches,
Alexa Bliss talking about Visigoths or the
awful Bobby Lashley segment.
This week’s Raw is Poor.
Can Samoa Joe say TNA now that he’s in WWE?!
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I’ve been Oli Davis, and that was wrestling.